I’ve recently discovered that I have a severe allergy…it’s an allergy to dishonest and manipulative people!!! It is so severe that when I am subjected to such people I feel physically sick. ( I do apologize now, this is a rant! If you are not interested then stop reading and move on…) It is not a new discovery of my affliction but I have just recently been able to properly identify it…
I have divided the two strains of liars into two categories LIARS and MANIPULATORS, now the two often go hand in hand but I choose to describe the two separately since the one will sometimes occur without the other.
LIARS: are the people who consistently are dishonest (obviously).
There are varying degrees… There are the ones who tell you they love your new shirt but secretly hate it. This would come under the category of “little white lie”. Yes we are all guilty of this at some point or another and if it will give someone a little bit of confidence then it’s kind of ok.
There are your experts…the people who know everything about everything. A truly annoying group of people, you just want to ram a good dose of humility down their throats because when push comes to shove and they have to show WHAT they claim to know it turns out that they don’t really know much at all. Like I said annoying but not really a harmful group of people.
You have your “glossy” people… As I’m an avid social media user I constantly have to check myself that I don’t fall into this category. These people are the perfect people. They have perfect families, eat healthy delicious breakfast/lunch/dinner every day. Their kids are perfect, their husband/wife is perfect and they don’t go a day without going to the gym. We know all this because every perfect event in their lives are posted all over the internet. I am a slightly skeptical person so I just don’t buy all of this “glossyness”. Its true that I don’t like posting unflattering pictures of myself/family or friends because I just don’t see the need. I don’t usually post a status about how crap my day is (although I’ve read some funny posts about crap days from honest people) but all that glossyness makes me wonder if all is not what it seems???
I now turn to the downright liars… These are the people who well…lie straight to your face in order to achieve something. It may be sympathy, adoration or just to lull you into a false sense of security. These people are the very close relative of the MANIPULATORS. The liar will post downright lies on the internet. It may be that they performed some charitable act, just so that people will pat them on their backs and think “what a great person he/she is”. I don’t understand such behavior and this is the kind of allergy inducing, sick to my stomach behavior that I’m kind of afraid of. My point is…why??? Why feel the need to post your good deed??? Why not just do it and reap the fantastic reward of having done something nice??? These liars will often use the internet as a place to build “false” relationships. They will like and comment on your posts and give the outside world the impression that you two are great friends, when in reality you may not stand the sight of each other and talk endless crap about each other to your “actual” friends. I just don’t get it!!! Why not just let it be??? What does anyone have to gain from this kind of behavior???
I posted this quote to illustrate that an icon like Marilyn Monroe achieved iconic status in-spite of her honesty…I find that inspiring…not the iconic part but the honest part!!!
I now give you a little blurb about the MANIPULATORS: these people can be truly dangerous (and for me an air sick bag may be handy when I’m in close proximity of one). These people are slippery little suckers. They may not lie but they formulate their words in such a way that you are left feeling something….guilt, pity, admiration…they try to gain something from you. An expert manipulator will do their manipulation in such a way that you walk away with a feeling of “wow!!! What just happened???” They will slip and slide all over your feelings without you knowing what is going on…
My point of this little rant is simple…it’s a plea for honesty!!! I know I won’t get it and I know I have to look at dishonesty all the time but we can at least try to be aware of how we present ourselves and show a little bit of respect for the people we interact with. Some may think I present myself as “glossy”, if you do call me out on it!!! Seriously!!! We all have something to learn from each other, I’m not perfect and I never will be…so what??? At the end of the day without the lies it’s so much easier…
And with that I wish you all a fantastic Monday…no seriously I mean it…😉